


Point Break

by AmelieofK



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, FairyFicFest, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmelieofK/pseuds/AmelieofK
Summary: Prompt : Seriously? Here?Jinhwan wanted to live a life with no regrets, even if it meant that he had to break someone else's heart to do so.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby, Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jinhwan, Kim Jinhwan/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 26
Kudos: 43





	Point Break

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended listening - Punch's Don't For Me

“Seriously? Here?” Bobby rasped, fingers churning through the mess of curls that took up most his head.

“Yes, here. I cannot think of anywhere else that would be better than for me to tell you. Here and now.” Jinhwan intoned stubbornly.

_Summer_. It used to be they would spend their days and nights at the beach; cutting the waves, ripping through the curls and catching some action in the water. Getting wasted on beach parties when dusk rolled in. Smoked tuna or marinated steaks on the grill. Hawaii was an idyllic haven of chill. Sometimes, a little too perfect and laidback for him. They had spent their childhood days here. They were both born into a family of natural surfers. Beach babies, Bobby’s mother had called them and they were inseparable ever since.

When they turned seventeen, that bond became stronger, they became lovers and competitors. Every year was a tussle between the Kim boys when it came to the regionals. If Bobby won it that year, chances of Jinhwan winning it the next, was practically engraved into the volcanic rocks which loomed near the beach. Both barely cared who won. Nights were mostly spent in each others’ arms somewhere on the private beach, beer bottles lined carelessly in an ice locker by the side, as they settle onto the towel for some quiet time.

There was hurt in Bobby’s brown eyes, but no words were coming out from his mouth. Bobby was not the type to beg or plead, so Jinhwan knew how easy this would be. 

“You know it wasn’t going to last forever.” Jinhwan whispered, looking down at his drink. The sound of the waves, the same ones which used to soothe him, now seem deafening. The warmth of the sun, which used to comfort him, became too hot and seem to burn his skin. The Bobby who had been his first love, the one he thought was his only one, well, Jinhwan could barely stand to be around him. Bobby sighed, turning to face the water.

“It didn’t have to be forever.” Bobby said, fingers tracing the soft, sandy grains of sand, as if trying to un-write Jinhwan’s name from his heart. “I thought at least until my hair falls off or turned grey. When I’m wrinkled and can’t even carry the board down the shore.” He added, with a soft chuckle, which sounded more and more like a sad sigh as Jinhwan continued ignoring about it.

_Change is inevitable_

_It is a tidal wave that you could either drown in or surf on_

_It could be a part of your daily routine that slowly, but surely begins to pull you under_

_And you struggle to stay afloat, living this way, allowing it to kill you slowly, surely, steadily_

_Or you can sail away and make the change before it can_

The words resonated in Jinhwan’s heart. The summer trip to New York brought that change. He had taken a rough tumble last regionals heat and could not make the tube as the wave rolled over him and he had gotten caught inside the rush of water. He was under for more than a minute, but it had been long enough to put him in a coma for a week. When he woke up, it was to relieved faces, but he could see the fear in their eyes. They had thought they lost him and it shook him to the core. New York was suppose to be a break; from Hawaii, from surfing, from Bobby.

He crashed at Donghyuk’s place and the first night, Donghyuk had brought him to a poetry recital at the nearby library where he had met Kim Hanbin.

Donghyuk had introduced him to Jinhwan, citing him as one of the most relevant poets of the current generation. Jinhwan had spent the next four hours smitten by that languid, husky drone of avoice spewing the gospel of his life. New York was like another planet altogether. It was fast, it was spontaneous but mostly it made Jinhwan feel belonged. And Hanbin, with his city coolness, but warm, welcoming hands made Jinhwan feel as if he had been found once again. 

“Don’t go back.” Hanbin had insisted that night as they lay on the bed, in each other’s arms, fingers intertwined, as the stars outside the window wall of Hanbin’s posh apartment witnessed the glory of his newfound love. “Stay with me.” He insisted. Jinhwan remained silent, although his heart had a ready answer. That one week of summer break turned into a month.

“You should tell Bobby- _hyung_. He called again today.” Donghyuk informed him once more like a broken record. It was his fifth call in three weeks. Jinhwan bit his lips over the phone. “At least give him a clean break. He’s just worried for you, _hyung_.” So Jinhwan returned to Hawaii, spending time with his family, easing them to accept that he was moving to another state to be with another man.

“It’s like he slept and he woke up with the soul of another man inside him.” Bobby had shared to Seiyeon, Jinhwan’s older sister and only sibling, his frustrations that evening but of course, no one could do anything about it. This was after Bobby had waited for him at the airport. No hugs, a half-smile and that silence.

“How’s the water?” Jinhwan had asked when Bobby did not turn on the radio of his beat-up jalopy.

“Gnarly this year. There’s some seismic shifts over on the Waikiki side, miniscule, but it’s enough to create some pretty strong waves.” Bobby enthused, grinning.

“Hmm.” Jinhwan nodded with disinterest and looked out of the open window frame, wishing he could see the gleaming skyscrapers and Hanbin’s unshaven face again. Bobby’s grin disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Something was caught in his chest, perhaps a knife centred and pushed without thought, into his heart.

The dinner was quiet for once. Filled with discomfort, not much chatter and while they were serving dessert, Jinhwan had asked Bobby if he was up for a walk.

This was where they ended up. It was the last holding fort of Jinhwan’s love for Bobby and even that was devoid of life and in complete shambles.

“This is it, then?” Bobby whispered as the moon shone high, pinned to the velvet dark like a helpless, hopeless lover.

“I’m sorry Bob.” Jinhwan whispered back and then he was gone, walking back to his family home to the porch where they used to sand and wax their boards at the break of dawn, chatting with excitement in anticipation of the waves they would catch and ride when day breaks.

By the time his plane touched back down in New York, Jinhwan had barely any traces of his memories in Hawaii with Bobby. The skies were the same blue and while there were no sandy beaches, the streets were just as, even more comforting. There might be more satellites twinkling in the night sky than there were stars, but Jinhwan felt a sense of satisfaction being in Hanbin’s arms as opposed to the calmness Bobby’s had to offer. The fact that he barely missed Hawaii or even Bobby himself, as he settled into his life in New York was proof enough to Jinhwan that he had made the right decision to move. Jinhwan knew that he could live a life with no regrets for all the decisions he had made. He left Bobby, his board and emptied all his feelings for that life, certain that he would do just fine.

**_5 years later…_ **

Did he miss the ocean? Sometimes, he hears it in his dreams. Well, not sometimes. _Always_.

The way the sand feels between his toes; feet sinking into the rich, luxurious grains which shimmered like gold under the sun.

The breeze that sifted through the palm trees, pouring into his open hands as he ran towards the shore banks, dragging his board trailing a squiggly line behind him.

The foamy waves, sparkling as blue as a polished sapphire, mocking him in challenge, waves folding over and over again onto the shore and dragging all his regrets along with it.

And Bobby. He missed Bobby, most of all.

Things were wonderful with Hanbin. Hanbin’s fame only grew after Jinhwan moved in. Jinhwan became his muse and his prose were suddenly being noticed by literary critics. They even moved into a bigger apartment and Jinhwan began taking up painting. A week in and Jinhwan realised all he could envision was Hawaii; the beach, the waves and Bobby. It suddenly feels as if it was a place and time that was set in another universe altogether. New York to him had become stuffy, cramped and filled with too many people with no emotions.

On the surface, he felt loved and treasured by Hanbin. They rarely fought, shared a lot of common interests and Jinhwan was always proud of his writings, especially knowing that he was the main source of Hanbin’s inspiration.

Hanbin with his calmness, poise and flair for words, remained a thoughtful lover, listening even when he was distracted by his writing, remembering birthdays and anniversaries’ and being the perfect foil to everything Jinhwan ever needed.

_But_ _Bobby_ …

Bobby with his messy hair, his drawl and his forgetfulness, remained like the lone spotlight in his mind which refused to be turned off. Bobby, who would hide Jinhwan’s board, because he was always the first one to hit the beach in the mornings and it was their ritual that no one goes down to the water until Jinhwan finds it. Jinhwan found himself smiling more and more at the avalanche of reminders suddenly released from that part of his memory he had so quickly decided to get rid off, when he chose the life waiting for him in New York.

“ _Jagi_ , “ Hanbin called Jinhwan, as he strolled into his studio early one morning while Jinhwan was working on a piece. It was a surfer riding a rolling wave against the backdrop of Hawaii’s serene skies. Jinhwan was working on the gradation of blues between the foam and the swell itself. It was all he could paint. “Hey, Jinani.” Hanbin called again, leaning against the studio’s doorway. Jinhwan stopped and turned.

“Hey you.” Jinhwan finally responded. Painting his dreams became sort of a thing for him since those unwanted memories returned. He felt the yearnings so strongly that it was all he can do to pander to it. “What’s up?” Jinhwan placed his brush down onto the tarp at the side of the studio floor and wiped his hands on his apron, walking slowly towards Hanbin with a smile on his lips.

“There’s this exhibition down at Carnegie Hall if you’re up for it. Something about the history and attractions in Hawaii. I thought maybe, we could plan our vacation there this year. I mean, since you are already so inspired of late. Plus, don’t you think it’s about time you went home and meet with family?” Hanbin urged with uncertanty, lips pecking lightly on the heart-shaped mole decorating that one smooth cheek. “You wanna go?” Hanbin prodded. Jinhwan gazed at the pamphlet Hanbin was holding in his hand.

“Now?” Jinhwan’s eyes sparkled with excitment at the thought that there was an exhibition about his birthplace. He rarely called his family after leaving and he knew Hanbin could see that he was uncomfortable with any mention of his family. He could feel the weight of his guilt for ruining whatever it was their families’ had shared when he had ended things with Bobby quite abruptly five years ago and it haunted him.

The place was relatively crowded. There were some people milling about a care program for endangered sea creatures which had been tied-in to an eco-friendly travel resort. Then Jinhwan saw the pictures. Frame after frame hung on rectangular displays, which doubled as a partitions. People were praising and muttering about the blown up photos being framed and displayed on the friezes. The subject was definitely intriguing and one Jinhwan once, no still, held like a candle in his heart.

Snapshots after snapshots of just Bobby on his surfboard took centrestage of the photographer’s attention. That familiar Ohana yellow surfboard, scuffed but sturdy, the one his older brother had passed on to him towered over him in one. Bobby holding on to it on that sand, grin intact and flashing the surfer’s greeting; a fist with the thumb and little finger sticking out. His body tanned and muscular as ever, his chiseled waist tucked into sky-blue board shorts tied in that familiar loop, his glorious, chocolate brown curls thrown with streaks of gold where the sun glinted on them. Bobby’s photo loomed right in front of him like a vision which had come alive in his reality. 

“ _Jagi_?” Hanbin came into view. “Are you alright?” He asked, putting an arm around Jinhwan’s waist. Hanbin’s eyes found the photo and he regarded it in admiration. “Well, I can see what caught your eye.” Hanbin teased. Jinhwan broke into nervous laughter.

“I know him.” Jinhwan explained. “He’s my…” One and only lover. “…childhood friend from Hawaii.” _The pause_. Jinhwan almost paused and it was shaking him to the core how he almost exposed himself to Hanbin. 

“Well, whoever is taking these pictures of him, definitely have a great eye for detail.” Hanbin commented as they passed on to the next flurry of photos of Bobby in action. Bobby in the act of turning a 360 atop the peak of a wave, droplets splashing almost out of frame, two snapshots of him in an aerial maneuver as the waves parted into an A-frame. Everything was in the glory of brilliant colours and high-definition. And then a set of snaps showing Bobby barreling through a wave tunnel in different angles. They were all expertly taken and the photographer definitely had to be really close to him to get such sharp and definitive shots of Bobby in action. “And…he seem to have an exclusive content to the subject matter too.” Hanbin exclaimed and Jinhwan wondered where this jealousy which had surfaced so suddenly in his heart had come from.

He had ended things with Bobby. He chose the life he had now. Why was he bothered by whatever Hanbin was saying now?

Their slow and steady walk of appraisal had finally led them to a small area where a tall, lightly tanned young man in khaki board shorts and a floral shirt stood, smiling and greeting everyone with an ‘Aloha’ in a deep, husky voice. Predictably, he had a Canon DLSR hanging around his neck and as he greeted everyone who passed by him and he was randomly capturing photos from around the vicinity where the exhibition was being held.

“Aloha.” He greeted and Hanbin stood there returning the greeting with a friendly smile.

“Are these your works?” Hanbin asked amicably. He towered slightly over Hanbin and he seemed to be cut from the finest marble, sharp and toned in physique, although his bleached blond hair and beaming smile exuded a boyish charm, which was definitely hard to dislike. He bowed slightly shaking Hanbin’s hand and then Jinhwan’s, warmly.

“Yes they are.” He said. “I’m Koo Junhoe.” He introduced himself.

“I’m Kim Hanbin and this is my partner Kim Jinhwan.” Jinhwan nodded, gazing up at those dark eyes which regarded both him and Hanbin with interest. “Wait a minute.” Hanbin suddenly said. “Koo Junhoe? Why is your name so familiar?” Jinhwan glanced at Hanbin, looking puzzled. “Are you the same Koo Junhoe who won People’s Photographer of The Year award two years in a row?” Hanbin asked now with renewed enthusiasm. The younger man bowed humbly, although his eyes sparkled in pleasure at the thought that someone had recognised him.

“Yes I am, although that was just a minor thing.” He whispered, blushing slightly from all this sudden and unexpected attention.

“I saw your name listed in the recipient’s notice when I was awarded the literary award last year.” Hanbin explained.

“Ah-so, we are alumnis?” He bantered and Hanbin laughed at the banter. “You know what else is a coincidence?” Hanbin stated now as their collective laughter tapered off. Junhoe gazed at Hanbin expectantly. “This guy right here says that he was childhood friends’ with the surfer in your photo!” Hanbin announced. Junhoe gazed at Jinhwan now in disbelief.

“Really?!” It was Junhoe’s turn to be surprised now. “You grew up in Hawaii with Bobby?!” Jinhwan smiled and nodded, blushing slightly, wishing Hanbin had not gone out and declared this so candidly. Not at least without giving him some sort of signal or gesture of his intentions.

“How is Bobby doing now?” Jinhwan asked shyly. Junhoe laughed and it was pleasant, that sound. It was a booming, hearty laugh which had all the promise of summer, sand and the sea.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Junhoe stated cheerily and turned quite suddenly walking towards the hanging, curtained backdrop where the exhibition title had been hung for display. “Hey babe? Babe? Come out here! There’s someone here to see you!” Junhoe was exclaiming in excitement.

“Holup, love. I’m coming.” _Five_ _years_. Five years since he broke Bobby’s heart and left behind the life he had now thought most about for the past few months. Hearing Bobby’s voice, even from behind the partition, was enough to bring it all back to full circle. Bobby emerged, hands grabbing Junhoe by both cheeks, planting a kiss square on those parted, smiling lips. “What is it, you sexy beast?” Bobby asked, barely able to mask the excitement in his voice. His grin, the one which Jinhwan had seen grew a thousand notches dimmer that fateful night, had somehow healed and now shone two thousand times brighter. Those dark eyes, which had once gazed at Jinhwan with the clarity of love, now burning upon someone else’s visage, with the same spirit and fire.

“There’s someone here to see you.” Junhoe was saying, “He said you grew up together with him in Hawaii. Come on.” There was palpable excitement in Junhoe’s voice. Then Bobby turned and so did Jinhwan’s whole world. Junhoe had pulled Bobby towards them and Hanbin had introduced himself. Bobby had greeted an almost hesitant return and then his eyes found Jinhwan. In Jinhwan’s eyes, Bobby looked the same as he did five years ago. All sun-kissed and leathery tan, he wore his Hawaiian blouse unbuttoned over a sleeveless white shirt and the board shorts he was wearing, matched the one his partner had on. “Well, aren’t you guys going to hug? Or has it been so long that it’s become awkward to?” Junhoe was teasing.

“It’s become awkward.” Bobby intoned with a rueful smile on his lips. Junhoe blinked in surprise at Bobby. And then Bobby chuckled, opening his arms, scooping Jinhwan into them with a well-disguised exhale. “Long time no see, Jinani.” Bobby husked, a palm tapping the small of Jinhwan’s back and another exhale before he released his former paramour. Jinhwan had no idea where he was finding the strength to keep himself from breaking apart right then. “ You should come back and meet your family. Bring Hanbin along and show him all the beautiful places in Hawaii.” Bobby urged, a smile playing on his lips. Jinhwan could only grin and nod.

“I would love to!” Hanbin admitted with enthusiasm. “I knew he was born and raised there, but Jinani barely mentions anyone or anything about his birthplace.” He added in faux complain.

“Oh you both should come over to our place if you ever do!” Junhoe was offering now, gazing affectionately in Bobby’s direction and twining his hand between Bobby’s fingers. “We got ourselves a cosy little villa just by the beach in Waikiki and I swear the breakwaters there are simply gorgeous especially when summer is at its peak. Perfect for a whole day of surfing fun!”

“Well, we might take you up on that offer, won’t we, _jagi_?” Hanbin had his arm around Jinhwan’s shoulder and he shook Jinhwan slightly. Jinhwan nodded, flashing a forced smile. “Although I’m not good at surfing.” Hanbin added.

“Jinhwan could teach you.” Bobby declared quickly. “Back in the day, we used to compete with each other. He didn’t bring his board along with him when he left though, so he might be rusty.” Bobby intoned. Jinhwan wanted so badly to detect something in the lilt of Bobby’s voice but he was not even being sarcastic.

“Surfing is like riding a bike. Once you learn it, you would never ever forget how to. That was what you first taught me when I came down to take your pictures. Don’t you remember, silly?” Junhoe was nudging him now and Bobby laughed. It was spontaneous, carefree and clear, very much like the laughter that had once been exclusive to Jinhwan’s ears.

“Well, why don’t you regal Mister Kim here with the story of how I tried to get rid of you by telling you about the sharks when you first approached me to take my photos, while I catch up on old times with my best friend?” Bobby suggested. Junhoe rolled his eyes as Bobby pinched him on one cheek.

“Fine, just as long we get to have dinner with your long-lost friend and my newfound friend.” Junhoe stated as he pulled and steered Hanbin back towards the pictures on display. Hanbin grinned, brows raised in Jinhwan’s direction for approval. Jinhwan managed a smile that seem less distracted and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” Jinhwan whispered when the other two were out of earshot.

“After all these years, you still are?” Bobby intoned with humour, lips curved into a tight, grim smile. Jinhwan shook his head, sighing heavily.

“No...what I meant was, I really didn’t expect to meet you again…” Jinhwan explained.

“Don’t be sorry for that.” Bobby cut him off. “Who would have thought we would meet again, like this. No one. It’s just how things are meant to be. Plus, there shouldn’t be any regrets at all between us, shouldn’t there?” That Bobby did not sound annoyed nor angry, hurt Jinhwan the most.

“You look…happy.” Jinhwan commented, glancing at Junhoe who was animatedly recounting one of his exciting adventures in Hawaii.

“I am happy.” Bobby stated truthfully. “It was hard after you left, I’m not going to lie. I was a million kinds of hurt. I even considered giving up surfing. I woke up not wanting to see the beach or even the sun, because everything had reminded me too much of you.” He admitted, that grim smile turning wistful and soft quite suddenly. “Eventually, I got back to it. You and surfing were the only two things that mattered in my life then. Losing one was bad enough, but to lose the other would have meant the end of me and half of where I had put my faith and my trust in.” Bobby shared. Jinhwan gazed guiltily into Bobby’s eyes.

“I hurt you…” Jinhwan mumbled.

“You did, but you have to stop blaming yourself! We had a good run while it lasted, but we all have our bones to pick with destiny. You chose to walk in that path and that must have made you happy. I walked mine with bitterness for almost two years until I met Junhoe. The last three years were probably the best in my life since you left. I have no regrets and so should you.” Bobby insisted. Jinhwan swiped the errant tear, which had suddenly trilled from his eye, glancing hurriedly at the other two, afraid that they might return, but they were still busy and deep in conversation.

“Are you going back soon? Perhaps you and me…maybe we can meet, just the two of us?” Jinhwan extolled hopefully.

“And why should we?” Bobby shot back, gazing sharply at Jinhwan in enquiry. “There is no us anymore. I don’t mind for the four of us to have dinner, but us two? What more is there left to say that hasn’t been already said back then.”

“I miss you…” Jinhwan confessed softly.

“Missed me? It’s been five years since you left, Nani. You didn’t even contact anyone in your family and even if you did, you sure as hell did not mention me at all. How do you expect me to react to this? You left everything behind. You wanted the life in the big city with your new love.” Jinhwan would have been able to bear this truth, if only Bobby had screamed all of this into his face. Yet, Bobby remained as calm as the night Jinhwan had broken his heart. “You served me with that point break and now you want to ride back into the wave with me? Are you even making sense, right now?” Bobby stated softly. “It is done. We are done. There is nothing there anymore. Not even memories.” 

Jinhwan gazed miserably at Bobby, no longer able to find the words he had shored up within his heart. He could feel his heart being torn slowly from its place, realising that this must have been exactly what he had put Bobby through that night when he decided that he no longer wanted to be a part of Bobby’s life. He had steeped the poison and now he had to drink the bitter concoction of its final results. How he had tried to erase those memories back then and how ironic that they came flooding back to him, only when Bobby kept them as mementoes of the time they spent together now. It had no meaning. It was only a portion of the time in his life before everything turned sour. 

They had dinner that night, all four of them and for Jinhwan, it was pure torture witnessing the playful banter and sizzling chemistry which oozed between Bobby and Junhoe so naturally.

“How long have you guys been together?” Hanbin asked as the waiter began to serve their respective wines, coffees and desserts.

“Two, maybe coming to three years.” Junhoe said as Bobby scooped some of the tiramisu and began feeding him without much thought.

“No plans for marriage?” Hanbin teased. Bobby chuckled loudly.

“If you can get him to say yes, I’ll make you my best man.” Bobby stated nonchalantly as Junhoe slapped Bobby on the thigh for revealing more than he should.

“I’m just being careful.” Junhoe explained, his gaze lighting keenly on Jinhwan. “I mean, you grew up with him, you know what he’s like, right? What if he stops loving me after I say yes?” Junhoe joked. Jinhwan grimaced a smile, sipping his cappucino to avoid answering the question.

“Oh don’t waste your time asking him.” Hanbin interjected quickly. “He’s just like you. I’ve been proposing for the past three of our five years together. He still can’t give me a definitive answer.” Hanbin complained in mirth. Junhoe giggled. Just the way Bobby was gazing at Junhoe hurt him and Jinhwan wondered why he even agreed to have this dinner with them.

“I think we are just being careful, right, Jinhwan? Matters of the heart should not be taken lightly.” Junhoe surmised.

“I’ll drink to that.” Bobby quickly said, raising his wineglass into the air. The other three looked at him in surprise and Junhoe sighed as he clinked his glass against Bobby. “Don’t take my proposal lightly. It’s my heart on the line.” Bobby added solemnly, lips puckering up for a kiss.

“I wouldn’t dare to. You’re way too precious in my eyes.” Junhoe whispered, planting a chaste kiss on those waiting lips in reassurance.

“You’re awfully quiet, _jagi_. Are you alright?” Hanbin sidled up against Jinhwan. Jinhwan shook his head dismissively, gazing into his coffee cup wistfully.

“Maybe just a little tired.” Jinhwan sighed, not even daring to look Hanbin in the eye. Bobby held Jinhwan tightly this time as they parted.

“I only wish happiness for the both of you. Junhoe’s offer stands. If you both are ever in Hawaii, do call on us and maybe we can hang.” Bobby said, cupping Jinhwan’s shoulders tightly and then gazing at Hanbin with a wide smile on his lips. His arms were already around Junhoe’s waist, a fact Jinhwan could barely ignore.

“Definitely.” Hanbin nodded in affirmation. “Same goes. The next time you both are in New York…do come visit us.”

“For sure.” Bobby said, nodding his head grinning happily. They parted ways and Jinhwan was not even sure if his heart was ready for it, but he was also fully aware that he no longer had any say about it.

Jinhwan padded into his studio while Hanbin slept that night. He turned on the lights, gazing at all the canvasses that were half done or almost completed; the majesty of the beach with its rolling waves and that lone surfer on his yellow board, rushing into the waves towards the horizon. Jinhwan had been in a heightened state of regret and hurt when he began this project almost five months ago and the high had barely tanked.

The way he had feverishly painted all of them depicting that one, same lone surfer; Bobby against the waves, Bobby running across the sand, leaving footprints in his wake, Bobby lying under the moonlight counting stars beyond the veil of a palm leaf. His paintings, which had reeked of longing to be by Bobby’s side, to experience that love which he held in his hands once again under the sun or the stars, upon the golden sandy beaches of Hawaii, now seem meaningless and futile.

He realised belatedly the consequences of his own pride and foolishness. He was forced to accept that his dreams of a Bobby still devastated by his leaving, still heartbroken by his absence were all but what they were, just dreams.

Bobby in real life had found purpose once more. He had healed and found the love he deserved, not the thankless one Jinhwan had given him and had wrenched away so cruelly due to his own selfishness, five years ago.

Jinhwan allowed the tears to overcome him as he grabbed a paintbrush, dipping it into the can of thick, midnight-black paint. He closed his eyes as he ran the brush across the first painting, piling black upon the pink sunset skies, over blue, roiling waves and his own denial. His tears began spilling profusely down his cheeks. He covered his dreams with the black paint, denying himself that ounce of happiness he had taken for granted, embracing the pain in his heart with the salt of his tears. When he felt that the brush was not enough, Jinhwan ran his hands over the blackened paint on the canvas, sobbing as he did so, fingers streaking black as he slid to the floor in despair. Jinhwan allowed himself to drown into the point break he had stupidly set himself up in, knowing that it was definitely what he deserved, his body wracking in agony of a loss that came five years too late.

_There is nothing there anymore. Not even memories_.

Those words, final and irreversible, reverberated into the emptiness where his heart had been.

**END**


End file.
